Essay topics run the gamut from profound to hilarious. While I might not specifically encourage you to emulate the colon inspired theme below, the more you relate to and embrace your story, the better you will be at sharing its truth, and in this case, humor. This recollection represents one of my most memorable parenting moments. As a parent, there is one task of such incredible, personal importance, it busts the scale: potty training your child. The misadventures are universally humorous, but in the end (ha) it’s a task riddled with unique challenges for each family, requiring creative problem solving strategy and intellectual prowess. With the addition of Common App essay prompt 7, and the freedom to compose on a topic of your choice, you have tremendous range:
The Golden Moment
I help her balance her rear and hands positioned tripod style on the chilly seat, precariously perched on the potty for a pre-bath pee. No reason to endure the nightly draining and rinsing of the contaminated tub of three elder daughters past, lesson learned. Nakeroo. Sit. Pee. Bathe.
My magic formula unexpectedly yielded the partial potty training, round four miracle for my whimsical, witty baby. Semi-miracle at least. Hooray…she could pee. It was innate by the time she was one – pee goes in the potty. Alas, not so much for the deuce. Poop goes everywhere; mainly in her pants – but sometimes not.
The misadventures of a perpetual pooper are not unfamiliar to me, as per her three predecessors: The hide and seek pooper left us searching out the source of the odor coming from behind the curtain. The poop and pitcher immediately removed the diaper, and hurled the contents out of the crib creating carpet constellations. Little Miss Neat and Tidy kept it contained. In the diaper, not the colon – but mastered the art of lugging a load-laden Pull-up. Until one day when she moved on, and independently threw away the balance of a half empty diaper box.
I’m not surprised that E, daughter number four, is an amalgamation of her pooperiffic predecessors. No end in sight. Well, a little end in sight. The early evening tushy sighting, post diaper dumping; the late morning streak across the house avoiding the new diaper; and the ever popular, ‘wake up in the crib with diaper at one end, pee in one corner, and rocks strewn along the edge.’
My mission is clear and a glorious challenge lay ahead. But, with triple sibling hindsight, I let it be. Lennon inspired, yes, but 80’s bred, George Michael echoed: “Wake me up before you go-go,” I prayed, as each dawn arrived but alas, no relief in sight.
Until there was.
“Everybody!” She beckons from the throne.
No response.
“I did it!”
Still, nothing.
She likely ponders: Realllyyy!? Isn’t this the moment they have been praying for?
Her sister, passing by the bathroom, finally notices her on the throne, just sitting there.
“MOMMMMEEEEEEEE!”
My Cheshire Cat, balancing in her birthday suit, upon her royal perch, greets me with her gleeful grin. She bounds to her feet in one graceful, feline leap.
“Ta da!”
There they are. Three magnificent floaters. Swirling to their fate, as she emphatically proclaims, this time in earshot:
“I DID IT!”
Proud, I am.
Remorseful, am I.
Mommy missed the moment, though perhaps E won’t remember it that way. Her recollection will hopefully be our ‘happy dance’ that followed – undies up and hands in the air – with Mom dancing in sync – celebrating this joyous Oscar worthy performance, because it is, after all, her golden moment.
